Letting Go
There are events in life that age you prematurely. For me it hasn't been hip replacements, or marriage anniversaries. It's been saying goodbye to my adult children.
My eldest, Amanda, graduated college. She's working her first "real" job and living on her own. Lizzie is entering her third year of college. For the last four summers or so we've done the dance of dropping someone off at school for the fall semester. This year we dropped Lizzie. Amanda lives close by so we got to spend time all together for a few days before heading back to Brooklyn.
And that's when I feel myself aging the most. Before leaving, I dropped Lizzie at her job at one of the coffee shops on campus. She stood in line with me as I ordered my coffee, then jumped behind the counter to make it. I watched her in action, with her apron on, saying hi to coworkers, then adding the caramel to my ice coffee (the most important part). She finished, handed me the coffee, gave me a hug and said goodbye. I told her I was proud of her before letting go. I watched her start making the next coffee for a few seconds before leaving.
Back in the car I sipped my coffee as the tears began to tumble down my cheeks. A mix of sadness and joy. Sadness because I was leaving her, again. Joy because I know she can do life without me. I shed a few more tears as drove the ten minutes back to the hotel to meet up with the rest of the crew.
Amanda was already at the hotel. We loaded up and began our goodbyes. I watched my wife begin to tear up just as I had with Lizzie. I hugged Amanda and held her tight for a second. This was my first born. The first person I ever unconditionally loved on sight. There it was again, the sadness and joy. I held back my tears this time. I'm not a crier. I think used up my tear quota for the month on Lizzie.
The thing that ages me more than anything else in this world is Letting Go. It's hard. Their my kids. My girls. And every time they leave, I have to let go all over again.
So what's the trick to letting go? I trust God. Sounds stupidly simple, right? But it's true. Proverbs 22:6 says “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
I believe that Millie and I have raised the girls to the best of our abilities, demonstrating faith, and sowing seeds along the way. Letting go is trusting God to do the rest.
As parents it's our job to raise while we have them, then send them on their way, leaving the results to God. If we've done our part for the first eighteen years, we have to believe that God can and will do his! Even if that means our kids stumble along the way a bit. Trust HIm.
Letting go is hard. I think it should be. After all, these kids are gifts from God. Gifts that he gives us for a short time to steward and shepherd. But here's the thing, my kids have always belonged to him and they always will.
So if you're struggling a bit to let go, give your kids back to God, and trust Him. It won't be easy, trust me, but I believe God to be faithful in all things, especially the lives of my kids.